Psalm 40:8 – I desire to do your will, my God; your law is within my heart.”
Have you stopped and thought about the Goodness of Christ? Sometimes it will leave you smiling, other times, in tears of joy. But thought of His Goodness is very therapeutic for the soul.
I recall after my wrestle with suicide back in 2005. After God made a way… I still had to move on. A lot of those days were very difficult. Some days all I would do is cry… yet God showed me something. While I was at Howard University, I got a chance to go to a location in Beltsville, MD. This location is where a lot of field work takes place for meteorological simulations, experiments and data collection. One thing that always fascinated was this place was full of trees, rabbits, deer, and etc… A forest that was peaceful. At that point, I started to learn about the wilderness. I’d always thought the wilderness was a bad place, but, I started to discover my true identity, Vincent… a kingdom KID about God’s Kingdom Business.
Today, I reflect back on that time and I am humbled. It was time in my life that was the most turbulent. Losing my father back in 2003 was rough, but I could come to grips with that; it’s part of life and he’s at home with God. But to wrestle with suicide in 2005 was frightening when I think over it. To think that in one decision I could have sealed my fate in hell for an eternity… not for a season, but eternity. No coming back. That alone is why I make an effort to give God all the glory. I used to feel bad that I would even get to that point, but as Karen Clark Sheard said once, “It was my misery that led me to my ministry.” And my ministry is growing. I enjoy writing, yet I feel God pulling at me to do more. I’d assume my career. Well that’s part of it, but not the main thing. I feel God pulling at me as it pertains to people. Maybe not in the traditional means i.e., behind a pulpit. But rather in my everyday life. In the past year now, God has been speaking to me, “In order to draw closer to me, are you willing to rid yourself the iniquities of this world?” And my spirit says yes, yet my flesh, my human self wrestles with that charge.
Yet, I have a desire to be in His Presence. And it’s not fake like years ago. When I think over this life… 30 years… what a journey it has been so far. Still far off from the destination, but the lessons I’ve learned, the good and bad times, losing loved ones… gaining new loved ones… I can count it all joy. All because of His Goodness… And I am steadily learning.
THOUGHT: Allow the Goodness of God to flood you. This life can be a challenge, but for ever battle you face, there’s a victory. You may be at your wits end, Yet Christ Died, and you can live… Christ got up with all power and if you believe in Him, that power resides in you…
God,
Thank You… Our true identity is not in this world, but my true identity resides in You. I pray that the Holy Spirit will guide us all to discover our true selves. Lord, we Your Children are up against so much, but our spirit cries out to you now… Our true desire is to be in Your Presence. Receive us Lord, transform us Lord… and when we get weak… remind us of Your Goodness and we will sing praises unto You. We Love You God… Have Your Way in each of us. I need my life to bring You Joy….
In Jesus Christ,
Amen…
